Monday, December 19, 2005

American Evangelicalism has issues (One Track Mind)

In effort to show that you really cannot make it up with American evangelicalism, I thought I would suggest the following as a gift for your teen-age daughter this Christmas: the "one-track mind" t-shirt. Yes, I stumbled across the renowned pious internet t-shirt emporium Hip-Edge.com, where they "spread God's Word one T-shirt at a time," is offering the little gem "One track mind" bright green t-shirt for only $14.75 (plus shipping) of your hard-earned Christian DOLLARS (of course, you can obtain this apparel wherever fine Christian t-shirts are sold, not just at Hip-Edge). And with the words "One-track Mind" plastered right across the chest. Although this troublesome saying has been usually reserved to reference those who only think about "you-know-what", the devout brethren over at Kerusso* (the company that actually makes the shirt in question) have finally rescued it from its wordly clutches to give it a new "Christian" "spin." And by wearing this T-shirt, anybody who does have a "one-track mind" for "you-know-what," since this message is displayed in so prominent a place, may instanteously get saved. Can somebody shout "Glory"?!

You see, Hip-Edge.com is smart. In their "About Us" portion of the website, they talk about how they know the world is taking over. Society's losing its moral compass. That's where Hip-Edge.com comes in. They will force the gospel message on people, even if it is plastered across their chests! They are tapping into the "explosion of Christian sentiment in the world," but it's up to us to "take a stand" by wearing T-shirts. This may seem contradictory to you, dear reader (that the world is taking over even though there is this big explosion of Christians), but this should not worry you. The point is that you should wear their T-shirts. Because somebody may get saved. And then that person will wear T-shirts. And then more and more people will get saved, like its compounding. And then more and more t-shirts are being worn. Pretty soon, the whole world will be saved. All because you had the guts to wear a Christian T-shirt. How's that for a investment from your little $14.75 (plus shipping)?

*Permission was requested from Kerusso to display the copyrighted image of the t-shirt in question on this blog. Permission was declined.

25 Comments:

Anonymous Joel said...

I ordered a tight one for my wife.

12/20/2005 10:33:00 AM  
Blogger Todd Mitchell said...

Brother, you have a one-track mind.

12/20/2005 02:09:00 PM  
Blogger lilrabbi said...

I was browsing through a couple online photo galleries of church youth groups in my area...'conservative' baptist ones. Aside from the kid on the drumset with the sideways hat and that half-drunk facial expression that only drummers can portray, the most startling thing was what the girls were wearing. I think there was one or two pictures where the girls' tummies wheren't showing.....and thats because there weren't any girls in the picture. Sad.

This reminds me of a long-standing peeve of mine...the youth group culture....where all the boys and girls are thought and said to be 'brothers and sisters in Christ', so it is okay that they tickle eachother and rough-house and depend emotionally on the other-gendered. Has anyone else noticed that?

12/21/2005 09:04:00 AM  
Anonymous Joel said...

We escaped the youth group a while back there lilrabbi. You're talking to bona-fide old folks here. We are geezers. Ryan and Todd both drive mini-vans. Sad.

12/21/2005 10:17:00 AM  
Blogger Ryan Martin said...

I have this big whole in my life that I cannot explain . . . first thing I know I am getting hair in my armpits, then everything goes black. When I wake up, I find myself at college. Weird.

12/21/2005 10:31:00 AM  
Blogger lilrabbi said...

Joel....Its true. If it makes you feel any better, I drive a Buick Century. It is that gramma-gold color on the outside. It also has a starter-grind prevention mechanism on it (for when grammas and grandpas forget their car is already running and try to start it).

Ryan, you may be joking, but that is about how it was for me. I can't remember any meaningful anything that occured in my life between the age of 10 and the age of 15. Very little thought or understanding or care about anything worthwhile. It is seriously all a blur for me. Most things that went on during that time, I have tried hard to not think about.

12/21/2005 12:15:00 PM  
Blogger lilrabbi said...

Yes, I see. you're not joking. Youth group was that hole. Its a dark hole that many never get out of.

12/21/2005 12:18:00 PM  
Blogger Ryan Martin said...

I was joking, but you offer some interesting philosophical insight into youth groups nonetheless.

12/21/2005 12:48:00 PM  
Anonymous Joel said...

http://nossobrii.blogspot.com/2005/12/all-in-days-work.html

Too funny. Can I use the t-shirt picture as my picture if I sign up for a blogger account?

12/21/2005 01:55:00 PM  
Blogger Ryan Martin said...

You had better ask Kerusso (or whatever the company's name is). Truth is stranger than fiction.

12/21/2005 02:44:00 PM  
Blogger Todd Mitchell said...

As Kevin says (as near as I can recall):

He who agrees with me is my friend.
He who disagrees with me is my opponent.
He who says he agrees with me but debases what I love is my enemy.

12/21/2005 03:11:00 PM  
Anonymous johN thE Baptist said...

Hip-Edge, Inc. must have a veritable bevy of lawyers on retainer. It's been over a month now and the CoolFaith people still haven't tracked down my subderisorious post.

Sorry about the thinly veiled identity. I'm just concerned that the t-shirt mafia may have put you on a watch list.

12/21/2005 03:15:00 PM  
Blogger Ryan Martin said...

Yes, old man, I am bewildered by the (unbeknownst to me) vast impact of my blog. I am happy to obey the law, though.

You may want to start dusting off your letter requesting permission ot use the image. I can send you a copy of the one I used, if you need one (though it obviously did not work to well for me).

12/21/2005 03:35:00 PM  
Blogger Ryan Martin said...

that should read too well for me.

12/21/2005 03:35:00 PM  
Blogger Todd Mitchell said...

If you buy 500 shirts you can get the "Corporate Motto" shirt!

12/21/2005 03:47:00 PM  
Blogger Ryan Martin said...

Todd, you have issues. Very funny. After today, I don't know whether to laugh or cry.

12/21/2005 04:13:00 PM  
Blogger Todd Mitchell said...

Or burn with white-hot anger.

12/21/2005 04:22:00 PM  
Anonymous Jeff Wilkerson said...

I find it rather amusing that you have changed your "post" from it's original content (possible legal action?) in which you had actually posted a picture of the T-Shirt that you "question". If your readers had actually seen the T-Shirt in question then they would have seen that the letter "i" had been replaced by the cross. The message of the shirt is to have your mind on the things of God (hence the slogan "One Track M+ind"); it appears that your mind may be the one focused on "you know what."

I personally know the individuals who own and operate the web-site Hip Edge.com-you don't. They are committed and dedicated Christians whose main goal in their lives is to spread the Gospel and reach others. Maybe the path they have chosen is different than the one you have chosen; maybe the style of shirts and apparel they sell are not your style. Just maybe you should study up on I Corinthians chapter 12 again.

I find it curious that you chose to single out their website when there are others out there that sell the same things (plus shipping). Are you opposed to Lifeway Christian bookstores selling T-shirts, jewelry and trinkets? Are you oppossed to handing out FAITH tracts and GOT LIFE docs to others as well?

Something else I find "amusing" on the main web pageis this little tid-bit: "I've never asked for anything on this blog, but I figure now is as good a time as any to get something back for the money I put into this site! I could earn a free ipod if five people sign up. I personally know people who have signed up and earned an ipod, so I know it works fine. You will just have to sign up for an offer, and then you can cancel it right away. Or you could earn an ipod, too! So please help me out." I guess commercialism isn't so bad after all is it? Do you have to pay for the "shipping and handling"?

"Or how can you say to your brother, 'Let me remove the speck from your eye; and look a plank in your own eye? Hypocrite! First remove the plank from your own eye and then you will see clearly to remove the plank from your brother's eye."

12/21/2005 06:32:00 PM  
Blogger Michael Riley said...

Jeff,

I'm not going to answer all of your post, because I'm not going to try to speak for the site owner here (although I think we'd offer similar replies).

My only reason for posting is to remind you that you should be a bit more careful about the accusations you make. The "free ipod" request is on a completely different blog (weblog.karaministries.com). Although the two blog owners are friends, you can't hold one man responsible for what another man posts at an entirely different site. You undermine your own credibility with such recklessness.

12/21/2005 08:58:00 PM  
Blogger Todd Mitchell said...

"If your readers had actually seen the T-Shirt in question then they would have seen that the letter "i" had been replaced by the cross."

That is the whole point.

12/21/2005 09:33:00 PM  
Blogger Ryan Martin said...

Jeff, I will not respond in kind. I do not know of any legal action coming against me. If you do, please enlighten me. I took the image down at the personal request of this person who is your friend. You should ask him about it.

This is not a question of a shirt that is "not my style." This shirt is indesputably blasphemous. There is no "my style" about it. The shirt is an offense to God.

As to your other comments, all I can say is that it seems we are approaching Christianity in vastly different ways. Hopefully that will suffice.

12/22/2005 01:17:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hey Ryan, I just had a marketing idea. How about we design sweat pants with "Don't be left behind!" written on the posterior. Being really creative we could change the "i" to a cross. Then folks could look really close to see the true meaning of our witnessing tool, if you know what I mean. I think I'm on to something here.

Theoldman

12/22/2005 11:11:00 AM  
Blogger lilrabbi said...

If I had thought of that, I would post it anonymously as well.

12/22/2005 11:19:00 AM  
Blogger Todd Mitchell said...

"Or how can you say to your brother, 'Let me remove the speck from your eye; and look a plank in your own eye? Hypocrite! First remove the plank from your own eye and then you will see clearly to remove the plank from your brother's eye."

The passage is almost always used to accuse someone of having a beam in the eye, as it has just been used against our hero Ryan Martin. Ironic.

Are not Christ's words almost universally ignored in the last sentence? "First remove the plank from your own eye and then you will see clearly to remove the plank from your brother's eye."

Christ wants us to remove the plank from our brother's eye.

12/22/2005 01:34:00 PM  
Blogger Todd Mitchell said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

12/23/2005 05:29:00 PM  

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Immoderate: American Evangelicalism has issues (One Track Mind)

Monday, December 19, 2005

American Evangelicalism has issues (One Track Mind)

In effort to show that you really cannot make it up with American evangelicalism, I thought I would suggest the following as a gift for your teen-age daughter this Christmas: the "one-track mind" t-shirt. Yes, I stumbled across the renowned pious internet t-shirt emporium Hip-Edge.com, where they "spread God's Word one T-shirt at a time," is offering the little gem "One track mind" bright green t-shirt for only $14.75 (plus shipping) of your hard-earned Christian DOLLARS (of course, you can obtain this apparel wherever fine Christian t-shirts are sold, not just at Hip-Edge). And with the words "One-track Mind" plastered right across the chest. Although this troublesome saying has been usually reserved to reference those who only think about "you-know-what", the devout brethren over at Kerusso* (the company that actually makes the shirt in question) have finally rescued it from its wordly clutches to give it a new "Christian" "spin." And by wearing this T-shirt, anybody who does have a "one-track mind" for "you-know-what," since this message is displayed in so prominent a place, may instanteously get saved. Can somebody shout "Glory"?!

You see, Hip-Edge.com is smart. In their "About Us" portion of the website, they talk about how they know the world is taking over. Society's losing its moral compass. That's where Hip-Edge.com comes in. They will force the gospel message on people, even if it is plastered across their chests! They are tapping into the "explosion of Christian sentiment in the world," but it's up to us to "take a stand" by wearing T-shirts. This may seem contradictory to you, dear reader (that the world is taking over even though there is this big explosion of Christians), but this should not worry you. The point is that you should wear their T-shirts. Because somebody may get saved. And then that person will wear T-shirts. And then more and more people will get saved, like its compounding. And then more and more t-shirts are being worn. Pretty soon, the whole world will be saved. All because you had the guts to wear a Christian T-shirt. How's that for a investment from your little $14.75 (plus shipping)?

*Permission was requested from Kerusso to display the copyrighted image of the t-shirt in question on this blog. Permission was declined.

25 Comments:

Anonymous Joel said...

I ordered a tight one for my wife.

12/20/2005 10:33:00 AM  
Blogger Todd Mitchell said...

Brother, you have a one-track mind.

12/20/2005 02:09:00 PM  
Blogger lilrabbi said...

I was browsing through a couple online photo galleries of church youth groups in my area...'conservative' baptist ones. Aside from the kid on the drumset with the sideways hat and that half-drunk facial expression that only drummers can portray, the most startling thing was what the girls were wearing. I think there was one or two pictures where the girls' tummies wheren't showing.....and thats because there weren't any girls in the picture. Sad.

This reminds me of a long-standing peeve of mine...the youth group culture....where all the boys and girls are thought and said to be 'brothers and sisters in Christ', so it is okay that they tickle eachother and rough-house and depend emotionally on the other-gendered. Has anyone else noticed that?

12/21/2005 09:04:00 AM  
Anonymous Joel said...

We escaped the youth group a while back there lilrabbi. You're talking to bona-fide old folks here. We are geezers. Ryan and Todd both drive mini-vans. Sad.

12/21/2005 10:17:00 AM  
Blogger Ryan Martin said...

I have this big whole in my life that I cannot explain . . . first thing I know I am getting hair in my armpits, then everything goes black. When I wake up, I find myself at college. Weird.

12/21/2005 10:31:00 AM  
Blogger lilrabbi said...

Joel....Its true. If it makes you feel any better, I drive a Buick Century. It is that gramma-gold color on the outside. It also has a starter-grind prevention mechanism on it (for when grammas and grandpas forget their car is already running and try to start it).

Ryan, you may be joking, but that is about how it was for me. I can't remember any meaningful anything that occured in my life between the age of 10 and the age of 15. Very little thought or understanding or care about anything worthwhile. It is seriously all a blur for me. Most things that went on during that time, I have tried hard to not think about.

12/21/2005 12:15:00 PM  
Blogger lilrabbi said...

Yes, I see. you're not joking. Youth group was that hole. Its a dark hole that many never get out of.

12/21/2005 12:18:00 PM  
Blogger Ryan Martin said...

I was joking, but you offer some interesting philosophical insight into youth groups nonetheless.

12/21/2005 12:48:00 PM  
Anonymous Joel said...

http://nossobrii.blogspot.com/2005/12/all-in-days-work.html

Too funny. Can I use the t-shirt picture as my picture if I sign up for a blogger account?

12/21/2005 01:55:00 PM  
Blogger Ryan Martin said...

You had better ask Kerusso (or whatever the company's name is). Truth is stranger than fiction.

12/21/2005 02:44:00 PM  
Blogger Todd Mitchell said...

As Kevin says (as near as I can recall):

He who agrees with me is my friend.
He who disagrees with me is my opponent.
He who says he agrees with me but debases what I love is my enemy.

12/21/2005 03:11:00 PM  
Anonymous johN thE Baptist said...

Hip-Edge, Inc. must have a veritable bevy of lawyers on retainer. It's been over a month now and the CoolFaith people still haven't tracked down my subderisorious post.

Sorry about the thinly veiled identity. I'm just concerned that the t-shirt mafia may have put you on a watch list.

12/21/2005 03:15:00 PM  
Blogger Ryan Martin said...

Yes, old man, I am bewildered by the (unbeknownst to me) vast impact of my blog. I am happy to obey the law, though.

You may want to start dusting off your letter requesting permission ot use the image. I can send you a copy of the one I used, if you need one (though it obviously did not work to well for me).

12/21/2005 03:35:00 PM  
Blogger Ryan Martin said...

that should read too well for me.

12/21/2005 03:35:00 PM  
Blogger Todd Mitchell said...

If you buy 500 shirts you can get the "Corporate Motto" shirt!

12/21/2005 03:47:00 PM  
Blogger Ryan Martin said...

Todd, you have issues. Very funny. After today, I don't know whether to laugh or cry.

12/21/2005 04:13:00 PM  
Blogger Todd Mitchell said...

Or burn with white-hot anger.

12/21/2005 04:22:00 PM  
Anonymous Jeff Wilkerson said...

I find it rather amusing that you have changed your "post" from it's original content (possible legal action?) in which you had actually posted a picture of the T-Shirt that you "question". If your readers had actually seen the T-Shirt in question then they would have seen that the letter "i" had been replaced by the cross. The message of the shirt is to have your mind on the things of God (hence the slogan "One Track M+ind"); it appears that your mind may be the one focused on "you know what."

I personally know the individuals who own and operate the web-site Hip Edge.com-you don't. They are committed and dedicated Christians whose main goal in their lives is to spread the Gospel and reach others. Maybe the path they have chosen is different than the one you have chosen; maybe the style of shirts and apparel they sell are not your style. Just maybe you should study up on I Corinthians chapter 12 again.

I find it curious that you chose to single out their website when there are others out there that sell the same things (plus shipping). Are you opposed to Lifeway Christian bookstores selling T-shirts, jewelry and trinkets? Are you oppossed to handing out FAITH tracts and GOT LIFE docs to others as well?

Something else I find "amusing" on the main web pageis this little tid-bit: "I've never asked for anything on this blog, but I figure now is as good a time as any to get something back for the money I put into this site! I could earn a free ipod if five people sign up. I personally know people who have signed up and earned an ipod, so I know it works fine. You will just have to sign up for an offer, and then you can cancel it right away. Or you could earn an ipod, too! So please help me out." I guess commercialism isn't so bad after all is it? Do you have to pay for the "shipping and handling"?

"Or how can you say to your brother, 'Let me remove the speck from your eye; and look a plank in your own eye? Hypocrite! First remove the plank from your own eye and then you will see clearly to remove the plank from your brother's eye."

12/21/2005 06:32:00 PM  
Blogger Michael Riley said...

Jeff,

I'm not going to answer all of your post, because I'm not going to try to speak for the site owner here (although I think we'd offer similar replies).

My only reason for posting is to remind you that you should be a bit more careful about the accusations you make. The "free ipod" request is on a completely different blog (weblog.karaministries.com). Although the two blog owners are friends, you can't hold one man responsible for what another man posts at an entirely different site. You undermine your own credibility with such recklessness.

12/21/2005 08:58:00 PM  
Blogger Todd Mitchell said...

"If your readers had actually seen the T-Shirt in question then they would have seen that the letter "i" had been replaced by the cross."

That is the whole point.

12/21/2005 09:33:00 PM  
Blogger Ryan Martin said...

Jeff, I will not respond in kind. I do not know of any legal action coming against me. If you do, please enlighten me. I took the image down at the personal request of this person who is your friend. You should ask him about it.

This is not a question of a shirt that is "not my style." This shirt is indesputably blasphemous. There is no "my style" about it. The shirt is an offense to God.

As to your other comments, all I can say is that it seems we are approaching Christianity in vastly different ways. Hopefully that will suffice.

12/22/2005 01:17:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hey Ryan, I just had a marketing idea. How about we design sweat pants with "Don't be left behind!" written on the posterior. Being really creative we could change the "i" to a cross. Then folks could look really close to see the true meaning of our witnessing tool, if you know what I mean. I think I'm on to something here.

Theoldman

12/22/2005 11:11:00 AM  
Blogger lilrabbi said...

If I had thought of that, I would post it anonymously as well.

12/22/2005 11:19:00 AM  
Blogger Todd Mitchell said...

"Or how can you say to your brother, 'Let me remove the speck from your eye; and look a plank in your own eye? Hypocrite! First remove the plank from your own eye and then you will see clearly to remove the plank from your brother's eye."

The passage is almost always used to accuse someone of having a beam in the eye, as it has just been used against our hero Ryan Martin. Ironic.

Are not Christ's words almost universally ignored in the last sentence? "First remove the plank from your own eye and then you will see clearly to remove the plank from your brother's eye."

Christ wants us to remove the plank from our brother's eye.

12/22/2005 01:34:00 PM  
Blogger Todd Mitchell said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

12/23/2005 05:29:00 PM  

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